Where in the World is SJ Arnio?: What's So Special About Medellín Anyways?

This is not your average Latin American city. Let's forget your tight fitting muffin-top jeans combined with the low cut plastic breasts revealing tops that are typical outfits of any "stylish" Latina, or your run of the mill fruit-selling men old enough to be your grandfather looking you up and down, taking in your blonde hair and light eyes a little too presumptuously. No, this is a list of some of the things that make Medellín stand out, amongst the others, like an Australian trying to speak Spanish, or Tom Cruise in a crowd of heterosexuals.

1. Cultural Activities
Tango: Medellín has a wide range of performances, events, gatherings, and spectaculars that make it quite a cultural city. While attending a free tango show at a local theater, I was delighted that there was a live band on stage, consisting of a keyboardist, accordionist, and bassist. The band was not used to much to accompany the dancing, instead it played fine melodies for a robust female singer with an explosive, deep (can I say man-ish) voice. While the singer was offstage and the audience enjoyed some real entertainment from the tango dancers, the band got to rest. This is when the sunglasses-clad keyboardist took the opportunity to pull out his cell phone and jabber away for a good portion of the dance. Though he wasn't upstage front and center, the lights were still shining on him while he sat chatting in the background. It was until the end when my friend and I realized he was pulling a Ray Charles with the shades when it occurred us that perhaps he didn't even realize that this was an actual performance. Maybe he thought it was just a rehearsal. Not his fault he couldn't see!

Later, I noticed some people in the audience were just as bored as the sly keyboardist. I watched as the couple sitting in front of us sneaked shots of aguardiente, a typical Colombian liquor with the revolting taste (in my personal opinion) of black licorice. I wasn't exactly sure because they had it stealthily hidden in the woman's purse, but when I saw them passing a bottle of Gatorade between the two of them to chase it, there was no question.

hard to see, but that's "La Dany" in a foil dress with a crowd of onlookers

Drag Shows: When my Dutch roommate told me "Come on, we're going to a drag show in the park," I of course obliged. Adriaan explained "La Dany" to me as not your conventional tranny. She put on this show in the park every week and used the money she raised to help feed homeless glue-sniffing kids on the street. They made a documentary on her even. She was legit. We get to the plaza early where La Dany is setting up for her show, strewing stuffed animals, broken electronics, wigs, costumes, toys, suitcases, bags, toy cars, and an assortment of other random crap around her in a circle on the ground. Her outfit did not scream transvestite either. Instead she wore a Shirley Temple like red collared dress, with her hair pulled out in two long and wild pigtails. She wore a pair of ballet flats and thick black plastic glasses to top it off. She was cute, sort of. She entertained everyone from children and families to gay couples to foreigners like me and my friends. Her show consisted of various comical skits with bursts of profanity and rage thrown in there. Halfway through the show, her wig fell off and she lost her teeth (after she had taken them out to do a bit about a person with no teeth), screaming like a girl and running around as if she were naked. She eventually composed herself, got herself a new wig, found her set of teeth, and proceeded. Unfortunately, we couldn't hear her all the time because she kept turning her back to us to address the rest of her 75-plus person audience. She used to have a mic, but people from the church where she does her weekly show in front of came out a while ago and took it away, denouncing her as a noise complaint and nuisance.

Ok so I have no other numbered items at the moment (I need to get some more interesting stories from the homeless man on the steps of my building) but enjoy these photos for now.